The Other Side of Intimidation

By Haydyn Fernandes, Sponsorship Coordinator

In Highschool I was so used to being the kid that always raised their hand.

I spent high school leading many teams, speaking in front of massive crowds, representing thousands of students, and honestly just feeling comfortable putting myself out there. I thought that the same confidence would follow me anywhere.

Then I walked into Queen’s Commerce.

Suddenly, I was surrounded by people who had also been captains, presidents, award winners, and founders. I remember sitting in Goodes during the first week and listening to people casually talk about clubs, internships, case competitions, and career paths I hadn’t even heard of. For the first time in a long time, I caught myself wondering, What did I bring to this room that wasn’t already there?

What surprised me the most was how the feeling didn’t disappear even after I started getting involved.

I walked into meetings after being elected president to represent my graduating class and still wondered whether I was prepared enough. I entered corporate environments where everyone seemed to be more experienced than me. I started something new with zero guarantee that anyone would believe in it besides myself.

From the eye of another, those moments might look like confidence, but from my perspective, they stemmed from intimidation.

Over time, something changed. I stopped viewing intimidation as evidence that I was somewhere I didn’t belong, and started viewing it as evidence that I was somewhere I could grow.

And eventually, some of the unfamiliar rooms became familiar ones. The people I was once nervous to introduce myself to became friends, mentors, and colleagues. Things that once felt impossibly far away slowly became part of my everyday life.

The funniest part is looking back at myself less than a year ago walking into Goodes for the 1st time and realizing it’s all going to work out. Someone might walk into Goodes and feel the exact same way I did. I wish they could see what I couldn’t see then. Nobody actually walks into every room feeling completely certain of themselves.

So now, even when I feel intimidated, I still walk in.

Because some of the rooms that once made me feel the smallest are now the places where I have grown the most, and some have even started to feel like home.