Success on My Own Terms

By Nicole Frank, Co-Chair

I’m in my 4th year of Commerce, and I’ve never had a corporate internship. To some, I might seem unsuccessful, or they might have the opinion that I’m going to be working as a barista for years to come. But to me, it's exactly where I want to be.

From an outside perspective, I was thriving in Commerce during my first year. I had the first-year representative position. I had the perfect grades. I didn’t get stressed over midterms or exams, and I went to the gym 5 times a week. On the inside, I was struggling deeply. I hardly spoke in club meetings because of the fear of what people would think of me. I used school and studying as a way to numb my mind and avoid dealing with my issues. It wasn’t that I didn’t stress about exams; I didn’t have the capacity to feel much due to depression. I had an unhealthy relationship with my body and used going to the gym and eating healthy as a way to feed this.

Come March hiring, I was hired onto three clubs, and this furthered the idea in my mind that everything was fine, since everything looked great on paper. I was thriving in Commerce. All that was left to confirm I was successful was a second-year internship!

I started recruiting at the beginning of my second year, while simultaneously falling into a worse place mentally. Throughout September, my mental health was declining rapidly, and soon enough, the things that I was using as a protection against dealing with my issues became difficult to do. I stopped studying for midterms, stopped going to the gym, and stopped doing work for my clubs. I left school and was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. I went home to be under the care of my family and professionals. The route that I thought I had to go down was also the one that led me not to be in Commerce at all.

Once I had reached a stable place at home, I reevaluated my goals and what matters to me. When returning to school in January, I realized I thrive when I have something I’m passionate about to focus on club-wise, instead of spreading myself thin across multiple commitments. I dropped two of my three clubs and focused on QCMHA. I found a passion for mental health advocacy, using QCMHA as a platform to share my story and help others. I applied to work at the summer camp where I have been at my entire life, because I knew this was a place where I was my happiest. I applied late for exchange, and got Reading, England, which wasn’t even on my list when I was thinking about it in the first semester.

From this point forward, the work I did for QCMHA didn’t feel like work because it was something I am passionate about. I reevaluated my relationship with working out and eating, and started being active in ways that felt good. I ended up having a transformative summer at camp working as a leadership counsellor. I met lifelong friends, problem-solved in ways I never have before, and started learning how to play guitar. I went on exchange to Reading, and met loads of amazing people, travelled Europe, and joined the surf club at my school. Coming back to school this semester, I am co-chairing QCMHA while working at Jack.org on their Youth Voice Council, following my passion for mental health advocacy.

Today, I don’t have a perfect GPA, or three clubs to put on my resume, or a perfect physique, or a big ticket internship, but I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. As I begin to recruit for my first time ever, I am applying to jobs I am actually interested in, intending to work in a mental health non-profit later in life. I am the proudest and biggest cheerleader for my friends who have had internships or have a set return offer, or who are killing it by co-chairing/being on multiple clubs. My story isn’t to say that the typical Commerce route is not what you should do; for some, it's exactly what they want to do, while remaining mentally well. All I am saying is to really spend time getting to know your goals and to do exactly what makes you happy. It’s a big world out there, and many pathways that you can take. Don’t feel like you have to check all the boxes and be the perfect commerce student. I am a firm believer in the idea that if you are happy, that’s the biggest success you can ask for.